“Driving Test Disaster”

I’d imagine I’m not the only man or women that had a disaster while trying to pass their driving test, well I had 3 of them before I passed, my first attempt, was quite simply a shambles!! It went like this..

For starters it was a scuttery aul morning, drizzly poxy rain. My test was on in Finglas and I arrived late, slept in, usual bollix to start off a bad day. I sat down waiting to be called out. Eventually I heard “Rory O’ Connor” I looked up and straight away I knew that this was not going to go well, now I know the cliché “don’t judge a book by its cover” but you should have seen the dorky HEADDD on this lad, he was either after pouring gone-off milk on his bran flakes that morning or else he quite simply hasn’t had a scratch of a young wans arse in a long time!!

Anyways we headed out onto the road, me checking the mirrors every 10 seconds like an eejit, Palms sweating the whole lot.

It was very awkward in the car so I just chanced the arm ” Well, any craic with yourself, rotten aul day isn’t it”..!!?  He didn’t reply straight away he just grunted and said “take a left up here.”  At this stage I knew it was just me and my woeful driving skills that would get me the pass as my humour meant nothing to Fr.Stone!!

I taught it was going well enough, indicators working grand, wipers on when needed. All that jazz, I did make a bit of a bags of the “reverse around corner” but didn’t hit a kerb so I thought I might have scraped a pass! So we were driving up the Finglas road, I was confident enough I was on my way to a gold medal then all of a sudden “BEEEEEPPPP” from behind me – a big poxy bus up my hole flashing at me!! “Whaaat’s this lad playing at!?” I says out loud..

Then my heart sank and any hope I had of been a full licensed driver that Saturday afternoon went up in shmoke!! – “Excuse me Mr O’ Connor, but you are in the bus lane, please indicate out”

"AWEEEEEE G’ LACKKK.." 

I just replied (with a couldn’t care less tone of voice) “Well I’m no genius but I’m fairly sure that’s a big “no no” on your sheet there boss so will we just head back to base and write this test off!?” Again the odd ball grunted so I just drove straight back to the centre, shook his hand signed the failure form and drove home to mammy telling her that my 3rd consecutive test was cancelled for no particular reason!!