Us Irish (The drinkers amongst us anyway!), we really are unique. For
instance; everything big or small that happens to us in life, we turn to ‘the
drink’. Someone gets married, someone dies, you pass an exam, you fail an exam, a loved one leaves Ireland, a
loved one returns to Ireland, a win or a loss in a sporting event, a birthday, a christening. Any auld excuse and somebody
in the huddle suggests “a sure we’ll go for a few pints” and off we go. What
really typifies our mind-set is the shenanigans that occurs in the month of
December.
December, jaysus it’s a mad aul’ month isn’t it!? It really is an amazing time of the year for a lot of reasons. The people you care
about arrive home from every corner of the world. From Sydney, Perth, London, Canada,
New York and Dubai, to put the feet up,
have a hot whiskey and just chat about everything and anything; “Told ya the
Dubs would win Sam, Da!” Although let’s be honest we do tend to spend a lot of this
time down in the local skulling pints and telling tales of the year gone by, which in fairness is what makes us Irish
so unique.
Now, don't get me wrong, there is the sensible crowd amongst us. Those who
avoid the hangovers, the fear and the mistakes; the clever group one might say!
Then there is the breed of us who enjoy the pints and craic like there is no
tomorrow. We mad eggs would generally spend 2 or 3 days of each week in December on the beer.
Now I mean flat to the mat on the beer, some of us could go four days
if you’re a proper Shane McGowan, in great form pissed drunk having the time of
your life.
We
fill our December days soaking up every last bit of craic thinking everything is pure gravy, saying to yourself "Jaysus ya cant bate Christmas, I love
the pints, sure this is mighty craic, God your man is sound, your wan is sound, I love
life”. Drinking
the poor head off yourself, using any auld excuse to go for pints.
“Did ya
hear Ciaran’s home from Oz!?”…“You’re messing!!?”… “Nope, the mad man said
nothing to no one, just arrived in from Perth this morning, nearly gave poor
auld Betty a heart-attack, I’ll tell ya something, he’s in great shape from
working on the sites, big brown shiny head on him and all”… “no wayyyyyy, a
sure we’ll have to hit town so, haven’t seen Ciaran in years!”
Then
there is the days around Christmas when you have absolutely no reason on earth
to drink porter, one of the gang will say “ah feck this lads, it’s Christmas,
I’m going down to Dicey’s for a scoop, sure I’m off it for good in January!”
This craic would last for usually the 3 days till your body hits a wall “nah
lads I’m in an awful heap, Die hard 2 is on da box tonight, so I’m staying low,
get an auld Domino’s, recharge the batteries for Stephen’s day!”.
Unfortunately though, everything that goes up must come down. You spend the next 3 days fairly feckin depressed sitting on the couch bored
senseless scratching you’re arse. Not only that but you’ll be rooting through
the box of Celebrations and sure of course the day you’re having there will
only be poxy aul squashed bounty’s left in the shagging
tin ‘a for jaysus sake Maaa, who ate all the sweets!!?’. Around then your
mind will have a chat with you in the lines of ”I really am a useless whoor, Ireland's facked, I need to sort my life out and
cop on, I’ve no money, that drink is
no good for me!". What normally gets you through this down time is knowing that Kevin
from Killbeggan is in the same boat as yourself - pure
raging with the carry-on of himself over the past few days, as is Liam from Letterkenny, Bobby from Ballymun and Big Tim from Tullamore.
Ahh but ya see folks, then there
is the one day smack bang in the middle of this hectic schedule when
you’re in a solid state of mind with
no drink in the system, saying to yourself in an upbeat manner "ahh sure feck it, I'm an ordinary
man, I'll drive on with life in the new year and hopefully get a bit of luck down the
road, I’ll be grand, sure there’s plenty like me". On that very same day, sometime in the afternoon
while you’re half way through watching Ghostbusters you’ll get the famous "goo" for a few pints and a bit of craic with the lads, so you
slip on the drinking boots and off out the door with you! “Mon, ya right Bosco,
we go for a few pints, sure it’s Christmas!”.
Well, personally I'm happy with this hectic up and down routine for the festive season. So be sure to realise when you do come
across the last mangled bounty in the tin of celebrations while you’re flicking
through the channels to find nothing but pure scutter on the box and you feel
that nothing is going right, that there are plenty more in the same boat.
So all I’ll say is just beat off the demons during the sober days, because the absolute craic you
will have with friends and relations during those 2 or 3 days of the week inhaling
porter is what Christmas is all about.
Role on the craic, the singsongs, the heart to hearts
and the memories!!
Happy
Christmas Everyone!
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